not knowing

When I was a sophomore in high school in Algebra II, I remember having a very difficult time. It was one of the only times where I was consistently receiving poor grades. My mother was very alarmed at my poor grades, and despite seemingly endless hours working on Algebra problems, I just couldn't seem to figure things out. A friend of my mother's was an algebra teacher in a different town, and she called her up and we began meeting on a weekly basis for tutoring sessions. She really saved me and my grades in my math classes, and I went on to take Analysis (trig) and Calculus. That is the story of family connections and growing up in a wealthy suburban town.

cut scene.

Three days a week a spend 35 minutes "assisting" in a math class. The only real reason I do this is because my schedule is all messed up and they needed to have me in the classroom for more hours. As is, I spend 2 hours a week in a room where teachers send students who are beginning to get out of line. The math class I assist in Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays is a Special Education pull-out class. Interestingly enough, this class is actually larger than the "regular Ed" math class. The "regular" class is 5 students, while the Special Ed class is 9 students. None of the students do their homework if it is assigned, and in class the teacher stands in front of them doing problems on the board, as the vast majority of them stare blankly. There is little to no comprehension among the students who I try to work with, and in my opinion, I feel that every student in this class needs significant and consistent one on one time with a teacher or tutor, (as I recall myself having when I was a few years older than these students). It is clear as day that it will be near impossible for any of these students to be successful in high school math, never mind pass the state exam required for graduation, unless their is a very significant intervention. The special education programs I have observed are not bringing these kids up to speed, and the regular education classes are far from performing. I also feel that there is a general understanding among the middle school staff that this is the case - that our jobs are insignificant and that regardless of what we do, these students will fail and will inevitably become high school drop outs. I am not being pessimistic and I am not saying that this is how a feel, it is just the feeling of the school as a whole. Jaded and cynical teachers working with under-educated kids without the skills necessary to succeed is a succinct description of what I have observed in this school.

At the end of last week I found out that I will not be at this school next year. They are phasing out the middle school component and will only need part-time teachers to staff the middle school component (30 8th graders) next year. I have some important decisions to make and a lot of applications to fill out.