so negative, but honest.

Today was my second day back from April vacation, and a mere 8 weeks separate the now from summer vacation. I suppose coming back from a school vacation is always a bit of an adjustment period, for students and teachers alike, but I'm really having a hard time getting a grip, a hard time hitting the ground running. I don't think my lessons are engaging, and honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm totally out of touch. I feel like I've lost the ability to connect with my students. I feel like a floundering rookie who doesn't really get how to do this whole "teaching thing." I don't know how it got to this. I stare at my computer screen, at boring lesson plans that I typed or at blank templates- devoid of ideas, inspiration, or motivation to create something meaningful, exciting, fun. I DO want to bring all of those things to my class every day, but I just don't feel like I know how to do it. I feel like I'm just throwing information at kids and trying to do it through the medium of "best practices." This is a really important week and I'm just not into it. I feel like a weak link, a liability, an embarrassment. I don't feel smart or useful.